Making art in spite of myself

Esmerelda, the finished piece

I am one of those people who has the uncanny ability to get in my own way.

I’m good at leaving my slippers in the middle of the room to trip over in the dark of night when I make the bathroom run.  Or leaving the dining room chairs in place as I vacuum around them, knowing full well how much easier (and cleaner!)  it would be to move them.

Or setting up mental blocks that emotionally cripple my creative confidence as I’m about to embark on an artistic journey known as my arty blog.

You get the drift.

I wrote in my journal a couple of weeks ago:

I am incredibly frustrated with myself for my seeming inability to be productive and just start creating. There are no “shoulds”, no “gotta get this done first”, no “first steps” to get to where I want to go.

It is ultimately about intentions and motivation. Let’s get back to basics – let’s remember why we create.

Why do we create? Why do we WANT to create?

Because creating is good for the soul.

If for no other reason, creating reminds me of who I am, and on the best days, I forget who I am. I forget everything and time seems to stop. You know that feeling.

It is a matter of habit. Just like exercise and eating right. It is good for us, for our health and well-being. And just like exercise and eating well, it can be a difficult habit to start but once started, it can very well put us on the path of emotional and  mental well-being.

Despite myself, I still manage to make the art. Now I just need to learn to get out of my own way.

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