sesshin

Reflections on my first long sesshin, part 2

Read the first part of Reflections on my first long sesshin

Grasping mind

Zazen image by Flickr member Taiyu57, used with Creative Commons license

By the third day of sesshin, the schedule, the silence of work practice, the energy of the other sitters in the Zendo, all lent itself to my mind turning inward.

At that point, my inward mind became strangely obsessed with swallowing. Yes, swallowing.

It’s one of those physical actions I never noticed until I sat for 3 days. When my mind finally became tired, it decided to focus on the inside of my mouth and the saliva that formed at the back of my throat. That saliva has to naturally go somewhere. So I found myself constantly swallowing and the more I focused on what seemed like my saliva endlessly collecting at the back of my throat, the more I needed to swallow. In a quiet Zendo, swallowing can be very loud.

I found myself becoming self-conscious, and then I began to hear other sitters swallow. What was going on? It was starting to drive me a bit batty. [Read more...]

Reflections on my first long sesshin (Zen meditation retreat), part 1

Siddhartha Gautama image by Flickr member Siesja, used with a Creative Commons license

It’s been several days since the end of my first 5-day sesshin (Zen meditation retreat) and although it feels that the effects have worn off, my commitment to Zazen has not. As I’ve explained to friends and family, a meditation retreat is not about relaxing, but more an opportunity to deepen my meditation practice. And that it did.

Some background

Before I elaborate on my retreat, I want to share my circuitous journey to finally committing to Dharma practice. I first became fascinated with Siddhartha Gautama’s story when I was in high school. After college, I moved to Santa Fe, NM where I met a friend who introduced me to Zazen. That’s when I immersed myself in books on Buddhism, Zen, the Buddha, and I began to sit regularly at the beautiful Upaya Zen Center on Cerro Gordo Road. I also attended my first sesshin, a short 3-day retreat. It was a simple and beautiful time in my life. [Read more...]